Holiday Survival

It’s the most wonderful time of year…and also the most stressful for some of us.  The holidays come with expectations that can often lead to high emotion.  Then add some family dynamics to the mix and it can be a recipe for let down.  So how do we get through a stressful period while minimizing emotional damage?

Know your limits.  Just because we have a week off work doesn’t mean we need to spend all of it at our in-laws.  If your parents make you slightly crazy, can you be willing to limit your visit?  Can you tolerate the passive-aggressive comment from Aunt Judy regarding the length of your stay if it means you actually enjoy the short time you’re there and don’t return the snark in kind?  The beauty of being an adult is that we get to set our own boundaries.  Even if that means family only gets us for a long weekend and we spend the rest on our own couches.

Breathe.

If length of stay can’t be limited, can we be willing to build in some breaks for ourselves? Can we be willing to take a walk around the block, hide out in the bathroom for 20 minutes, or develop signals with our partners so he/she knows when we’ve reached our limit?  Can we be willing to notice when our family members might need a break from us?

Breathe again.

Be mindful of how much booze and sugary food is consumed.  Get enough sleep.  Ensure that physical spaces are as relaxing as possible.  These things can really impact mood and functioning!

Breathe some more.

Remember, there’s no rule about how much we have to like our family members or enjoy the holidays.  The best we can do is try to influence outcomes in a positive manner.  As always, create as much emotional safety as possible and when all else fails, take a breath!