How Do I Know if My Relationship is Toxic?

The word toxic gets thrown around a lot. But what does it actually mean? I define a toxic relationship as one where the drama, negative interactions, and repeated disconnection drains you emotionally.

If you answer yes to even a few of the following questions, you’re likely in a toxic relationship:

• Do you often feel worthless, not good enough, and hurt in your relationship?

• Do you blame yourself for mistakes?

• Are you consistently feeling minimized or dismissed?

• Have your friends and family told you the relationship isn’t healthy or created separation from your partner?

• Do you question your own judgement or version of reality?

• Does your partner repeatedly tell you that you’re the problem?

• Is it difficult to keep arguments from escalating quickly?

• Does your partner blame others for their behavior?

• Is the threat of abandonment used in moments of conflict?

This is by no means an exhaustive list but it can clue you in to what isn’t actually healthy in your relationship. And if you’re recognizing these patterns, therapy can help by supporting you in identifying your limits, setting boundaries & creating consequences, and communicating your needs directly.